Te Araroa: The Storm That Ends All

22.03.2020 Day 146 (16km)

Thank goodness it was a short day, because the wind was howling as we walked a pebbly beach towards coastal farmland. One of my gaiters came loose, allowing the tiny rocks to fling themselves into my shoe. With the temperamental weather, I wasn’t keen to stop and remove them. 

After our final climb of the TA, which was only a couple hundred meters up to a viewpoint, we descended into Riverton’s residential neighborhoods. Alex had booked us an AirBnb, which was so lovely that within a few minutes we decided to reserve it for another day. The weather was meant to be terrible, so a zero day right before the end just felt like a better option. 

We made a quick trip to the supermarket for supplies; then spent the evening eating, drinking, and watching movies.

Day’s Highlights: Stretching out in the comfy, warm double bed

23.03.2020 Day 147 (0km)

Sleep evades me. I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the wind as it shakes the house in its furry. 

What even happened today? What is this paranormal dream that is now my life?

The bubble, the beautiful, safe bubble that was keeping the reality of Covid-19 at bay, suddenly popped. I’m 50km from the end of this amazing 3,000km journey and I have to skip it. Not only that, but all of my plans have crumbled into dust. 

Suddenly, I’m scheduled to go home in a week and I’m absolutely terrified that I’ll never be able to leave again. That I’ll be stuck there for the rest of my life, living in a world that isn’t meant for me, in a town that is too small. 

Me, me, me…selfish, I know. 

There are people in far worse conditions than myself. People who are trapped in lockdown with abusive family members, or starving, or hooked up to a machine that is barely sustaining their life. 

How did this happen? How has this world become consumed by hysteria and fear, transformed by a virus into an alternate reality? Like, what the fuck man?! 

I continued to try and think about the positives: now I’ll have time to work on my books. I’m excited to see family and pets. 

Those are great things and I should be focusing on them, but in this moment I feel numb, helpless, and scared. Not scared of the virus, but of the world that will remain in its aftermath. 

I finally felt like I was beginning to find my place in this world, but I have no idea how or where I might belong in the new one. 

It rained today; harder than it has in a long time. There is nothing left for me to do but wait out the storm and hope for the best. 

Day’s Highlights: There is still a tomorrow 

24.03.2020 Day 148 (7km)

I watched the pastures zoom by through the rain splattered windows. Beyond them, out of view, was a beach. That was where I should be, out there walking on the sands towards Bluff. 

The stress of yesterday left me numb, so that today I was simply going through the motions. There had been countless phone calls to hostels, taxi services, airlines; a frantic rush to book three plane tickets out of South Island and up to Wellington where Will had family. 

Most places were already closed. Only one hostel in Invercargill was willing to let us stay and that was simply because we were TA hikers. We had spent most of the past five months social distancing in the wild. The taxi companies wanted to charge us upwards of $200 (which was more expensive than a one way ticket to Wellington). Fortunately, I found a freight and shuttle company that agreed to drive us to Invercargill for $8 per person. 

I’m certain a walk would have helped my disposition. However the weather was absolutely atrocious, which in turn would only have exacerbated my misery. 

Our new plan was to get to Bluff via taxi, take the final photo, and keep our fingers crossed that our flight to Wellington wasn’t cancelled. After arriving at the hostel, it became apparent that our journey to Bluff would have to wait until tomorrow. 

The remainder of the day was spent distracting ourselves with television. I was finally able to breathe a bit easier when we received news that domestic flights would continue to run after the lockdown began. Our flight to Wellington was a sure thing. However, there was increasing uncertainty as to whether I would be able to get to my flight home, as the first portion was a domestic transfer to Auckland. Yet, that was a concern for a different day. 

Day’s Highlights: Real coffee in the morning, possibly my last for a while

25.03.2020 Day 149 (1km)

I walked around the final curve of the road and there it was: Bluff. The iconic yellow sign marked the end of my 3,000km journey across New Zealand. Tears filled my eyes. I’d made it! I’d done it! 

That was the finish I had imagined several times over the past couple of weeks. The reality was a taxi that picked us up and drove us through the rain, stopping occasionally for us to take photos. We didn’t linger at the final sign; I think all of us were experiencing a mixture of emotions we weren’t quite ready to accept. 

I wouldn’t have minded walking the last stretch in the rain, except that it included a harrowing 14km road without a shoulder. Originally, I was going to hitch it and walk the rest, but no one was picking up hitchhikers anymore; they might have Covid-19. 

As the taxi took us back towards Invercargill, I stared out upon a world of grey. A raindrop slid down the window, before being replaced by a new one. My mood mimicked the sombre world outside the cab. 

This wasn’t the way I wanted it to end, but it was the only way it could. 

10.04.2020 TA Epilogue

We arrived safely in Wellington, picked up at the airport by Will’s uncle and brought into a welcoming home. None of us knew how long we would be there, but were determined to help out and make the most of it. 

I wasn’t able to catch my flight back to the US, as all domestic flights had been restricted to essential personnel only. After arguing with myself over the best course of action, I decided to have a suitcase of clothes shipped over. My best friend had been meant to bring it with her when she came to visit. Obviously, her flight was cancelled in the mayhem of Covid-19. 

Though the TA didn’t end the way that any of us wanted; I am beginning to come to terms with it. I’ve walked/cycled/kayaked over 3,000km since arriving in New Zealand, even if the distances recorded in my journal don’t actually add up to that. 

Determined not to lose my trail fitness, I’ve taken up running again. Shorter, quicker runs are more my style, mostly to protect my knees. My arm strength is rapidly returning due to regular yoga sessions, not just the quick stretching routine I did after hiking. 

It’s strange because things feel normal. I mean I know they aren’t normal, but I’ve never lived here before. I didn’t have a life in NZ before the TA or Covid-19; so I have nothing to compare post-TA New Zealand to. 

I don’t know what New Zealand will look like after lockdown, though I’m certain it will reach some semblance of normal far sooner than most other places in the world. Though tomorrow will always remain uncertain, I choose to put my energy into being optimistic, rather than waste it on pessimism. 

Since I didn’t include a “Day’s Highlights” on my final day of the TA, I’ll do it now: Finding the strength to reach for the silver lining